Dimmed streams of sun light that creeps through the cracks of the roof tell me that the sun has gone down. I lay down here. Alone. Sunk down into the mattress. The only moving thing in the surrounding is a spider lazily crawling on its web, there are few dead creatures crumpled and scattered around the large spider web. I let my eyes roam around the room. I see everything as if they are much strange to me. It is all in a soft darkness. Only one window is open. Through it I see, a creeper of Jasmine. It is hugging the pole next to it closely but with withered leaves, only two tiny buds and one small blossom at the top looking down as if it is scared to look up.
My eyes drop back to the photograph I’m holding. There I see her, looking at me with her twinkling eyes. Her eyes seem to be more vivid through the semi darkness in the room. Yes, they really do make the stars look like they are not shining. I catch another glimpse of the jasmine blossom out side the window and find myself closing eyes while my inner senses wander through a divine fragrance of jasmine that is lingering all around my being, my soul. I remember the way I met her. Sanuri.
We used to go to same tuition class. There was not much of a crowd. We, guys, sat in the back seats as usual. It was fun, in the back seats. When the lessons went boring it let us free to do texting, eating, looking at hot girls and even watching movies in the phone. We were the fun lot making the whole class laugh cracking jokes once in a while.
I was free like some roaming bird those days. I was proud that my parents named me ‘Vihanga’ which means ‘bird’ and I made it the goal of my life to live up to my name. There were no responsibilities, aims or expectations in my life. I laughed at my friends who had this ‘committed’ relationships, and those who almost died trying to win the girls they like.
I rolled my eyes when anyone mentioned me such a thing, saying “Get a life dude!”
I looked at random girls and they looked back at me. My pals envied me sometimes. I enjoyed looking at girls falling for me. I laughed and teased them but never got close to anyone nor even as a friend. Friendship leads to many more things. Why on earth would anyone get limited to looking at one girl? “Duh!”
She joined to the class a bit later. I remember me shooing at her with other guys when she first entered to the class. She didn’t look down shyly as other girls do but looked at us and grimaced and gave us all a friendly smile.
Soon she won the most of the class, talking, laughing, and helping all. There was a strange careless cuteness in her unlike many silly girls who acted like fairies to impress us. She didn’t adopt a flirty, innocent voice when speaking to guys but spoke and acted in a much free and easy going manner. I soon found myself watching her every move, craving for her voice, waiting till she comes to the class, sulking hours if she didn’t turn up.
One day Vinod, my best buddy, caught me looking at her.
“Adoh Vihanga, Don’t tell me you are into Sanuri okay?”
I remembered the things I told him in the days he tried to win his girl and how I laughed at him when he brooded if she didn’t talk to him just for one day. I was afraid if he’d laughed at me if I let myself in. So I carelessly slipped,
“What if I say yes?”
He looked at me mockingly and pretended cleaning his ears.
“Excuse me. I think I didn’t hear it correct”
I sighed from my mind. He had this exaggerated, loud and devilish laugh which I didn’t want be the prey of. But I didn’t want to let myself down either. I took a deep breath and said,
“Okay. I think I love her.”
And he began to laugh.
“You?.........Vihanga?............in love........?” He laughed and laughed.
“Oh come on man.........” I said. “Me too got a heart and I’m damn serious. She is the most interesting creature I’ve ever seen and met and I love her. What’s so funny in it?”
He pulled a serious face.
“I know machan.” He smiled and patted me.
“So finally, Vihanga is in love. And don’t worry. I won’t say ‘get a life dude’ like you said to me” He said mockingly.
“I’m sorry dude. I was kidding. You know me.” I punched his shoulder.
“Thank god the girl is Sanuri. Don’t worry. I like the girl and I give you the permission” He said nodding in a high manner.
“PERMISSION!” I said. “Since when did I ask you the permission to do things?” “Duh”
He took my hand and shook.
“I’m happy for you. And I wish a happy wedded life for both. Anyway the most important thing is Where we are gonna get the treat?”
“Treat? , You kidding? The girl doesn’t even know this yet.” My voice broke.
“You know the rule number one in this topic machan?” He asked me. “If you feel it, say it before it gets late”
I was so much attracted to Sanuri that I haven’t thought a bit of what’s going to happen if she said no to me. It was unusual for me because girls liked me almost always. But as she is a different kind of girl, a trace of fear dawned to my mind. She made me nervous always and that was very unlikely of my character. There was something drawing me back in going to her and ask her out. But I had to do it soon because she was too attractive and popular. I was afraid someone will do it before me and she’ll consent. Even the thought of it made me shudder. So I decided to do it that very evening.
“I’ll do it today, come with me machan okay?” I told Vinod.
His face got a pleading look.
“I’m sorry machan. My wife wants to go to a movie today, and take my word here son. If the girl suggests such a thing, make sure you don’t miss it whatever the work you have” He winked.
“Ah... No problem man. Have a good time” I winked back.
I remember my heart beginning to thump harder against my ribs when the last few minutes of the class went. She looked exceptionally pretty that day with a cute white skirt and a light blue top. The fringe of her hair kept falling to her face playfully. I followed her to the bus halt where she waits for about quarter an hour till her father comes to pick her.
“Hey...” I started. I heard my own voice as if someone else talking. I wished it sounded cooler.
“Hi...., Vihanga right?”
She smiled and replied with her sweet voice. I felt a current going through me. I caught a waft of her perfume, a pure serene smell of Jasmine. It was hard for me not to close my eyes and soak up that fragrance into me. I saw she’s watching me and in mind I slapped myself alive.
“Yeah.” I smiled. “We’ve been seeing in the class for like 6 months now. So I wanted to talk to you a bit. You know.”
I felt I was going too fast. “Take it slow and easy machan” Vinod advised me after the class. So I smiled and got busy pretending to find something in the bag till she says something.
“ Ohh...That’s good.” She smiled and gave me I-know-what-you-are-up-to look. But there was some easiness in her. I felt myself getting loosened.
“So, can we be friends?”
“But we ARE friends, aren’t we?” She asked with twinkling eyes.
“Not like this you know.” I replied. “I like to get to know you more. More than this I mean”
She watched me as I spoke. I felt as if her eyes piercing me and looking into my soul.
“I’ll request you on Facebook. And here’s a warning. You might fall in love with me. Don’t say I didn’t warn you if you do okay?”
She said in a sweet, stubborn voice and went to get on to her car leaving me there.
And that’s how it began.
After she came to my life, the days became brighter, she seemed to dazzle up my life just by her mere presence. Day by day we got closer.
“You don’t know what happened today Vihanga”
She often started our conversations that led far into the night. There was something in her that I never got tired of listening what she said.
“Be my best friend?” She asked me one day. Her face looked very serious that I felt like hugging her.
“Yeah sure. Anyway I thought we are already best friends.”
I can still remember sparkle of her eyes when I said that.
The day she said yes to me I was happy so much that I felt I could fly on the sky. Many envied me for having her as my girl.
“Tell me how many girl friends you have had before” She demanded me one evening when we were watching the sun set sitting on the seashore.
I was watching her sweet smelling hair shining golden by the setting sun light. There was a sweet smell of jasmine with everything she owned. I can close my eyes and feel that fragrance in my mind anytime.
“Lets see...” I pulled a serious face. I counted my fingers scratching my head pretending to think.
“One.....two.......ah yes, three and four..... and five.....six.....”
Her face got darker and darker with each number. I couldn’t help laughing.
“Silly girl! You are my first love. And the next girl I love will only be our daughter. Okay?”
She filled my world with love in a way I got lost in her. She gave me new aims and expectations in life being at my side helping me through to accomplish them. Both my parents and friends too loved her for she made a whole new human being out of the useless prat I was once.
“You are to fill this up and show me next day.” She made study plans for me and forced me to study and made sure I do it. With her help I was able to scribble a much better result in my sheet that I never even dreamed of getting.
When I became ill she became so worried bringing me my favorite food, singing me songs and fussing over me so much that sometimes I faked to be ill for I wanted her always around me. My mom was happy that I found her telling me that she can now give me away without any hassle in her mind.
“I will love you not for the rest of my life, but for the rest of your life, my love”
I remember her putting it as her Facebook status. I always loved seeing her being so open showing our love. I wanted to show her off to the whole world to which she responded with her maximum.
With all her adoring qualities, she was so much beautiful. I sometimes hugged her tight telling her that I will hug her forever in my life.
She was my life.
It was not one of those relationships where you be silly and fool around. She had a beautiful philosophy in life and I often enjoyed our long chats on life, love, people and world.
“Life is so short Vihanga” She told me.
“We don’t know when we die, so we have to live this life to the fullest within this small time.”
The sun shone too bright in that specific day. There’s misty wall in my memory with the things happened on the day.
I only remember that she was looking very gorgeous that day that I couldn’t get my eyes off her even for a second. We were walking in the side of the road. She had her hair loosened which made her look like a princess. She kept speaking all through our walk and I watched her cute features as she spoke.
That was my girl. My own darling princess.
I remember me forgetting the whole world. She was the only real thing in the world. The feel of her. The divine fragrance of her. My jasmine flower.
I wanted to hug her.
I whispered to her ears, “I love you angel!”
“Oh come on....don’t start your pranks here okay? This is a road” She pushed me a bit off giggling.
I’ve forgotten of everything else. I pinched her cheek and brushed off her hair that was fallen on to her face by the wind.
“Don’t forget this is a road. People are watching” She said in an angry voice.
She looked even more beautiful when the anger made her cheeks glow. Sanuri means angel. I got to me how suitable her name was for her.
“My angel!” I put my arm around her waist.
Many things happened at once.
She pushed me aside and leaped to the road.
Her sound of laughing.
A noise of a car.
A loud crash.
A blood shrieking scream.
The colour of scarlet everywhere.
Everything was a whirl of blurry incidents.
I could see but I was blind to see what I see. I could hear but I was deaf to hear what I hear. I was dazed. My heart, brain and whole my being was numb.
She always looked beautiful in white. But she didn’t smile and blush as usual. I was fatigued, mentally and physically. Lamentations, sympathies........ I felt nothing and saw nothing.
All sensations were blurred and vague.
Only one thing was circulating in my senses.
That was an intense fragrance of Jasmine. I was completely lost and gone within that fragrance.
Today I lay here.
Calendar shows a date almost a year after the day I last felt my life though I do not remember a bit of how that days passed.
The sun has gone down.
It is dark all over.
An impenetrable darkness.
Still the window is open though it is pitch black out side. Yet I can see the Jasmine flower out side the window in my minds’ eye.
I see her smiling through the darkness.
I find myself closing eyes while my inner senses wander through a divine fragrance of jasmine that is lingering all around my being, my soul........!
I feel her touch as if it is real, her voice in my ears, sweet and soft as it has always been. My heart begins to fill with all the memories yet my eyes are dry.
I know that she is there, looking at me with her twinkling eyes.
Watching my every move with the usual motherly affection in her eyes she always has when she is with me.
She is not there with me but at the same time she is there. Her voice rings through my ears as if she is speaking from a far away place where she is concealed by a veil.
“I will love you not for the rest of my life, but for the rest of your life, my love”
Copyright © 2011 Xtream Youth. All rights reserved.
Written by Vindya Vithana (Creative Writer at Xtream Youth)